


As easy as ABC

by Wolviecat



Category: In the Heights - Miranda/Hudes
Genre: Background Ableism, Gen, Learning Disabilities
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-01
Updated: 2020-08-01
Packaged: 2021-03-06 06:02:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 994
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25648522
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wolviecat/pseuds/Wolviecat
Summary: At first, it was almost cute.But it should disappear as Usnavi grew older. Normal adult people know how to spell and don't write their letters backwards, right?6 + 1 from Usnavi's struggle with dysgraphia.
Comments: 6
Kudos: 30
Collections: Banned Together Bingo 2020





	As easy as ABC

**Author's Note:**

> For the Banned Together 2020 line 1 row 4: "Poor Grammar"

1) When he starts kindergarten, there is not yet anything wrong with Usnavi.  
He can’t stay still for more than five minutes, constantly moving around, running and jumping and, when they force him to sit, at least bouncing his leg or taping his fingers on his knees just to get the excess energy out. Speaking non-stop, on the top of his lung, rambling about anything that come to his mind, half of the time in Spanish, mixing the languages together like all the people in the Washington Heights. He knows how to tie his shoes already, he’s very proud of it, but he seems to forget it at the worst moments possible and falling flat on his face. He hates carrots with an undying passion, going so far as hiding a plate of it in his hoodie front pocket, where it seeped through the fabric and stained it forever.  
He learns to write the first simple words. His letters are sometimes flipped or in the wrong order, but he’s not the only child who does that, and it is still seen as a adorable quirk and not as a defect to be fixed.  
When he starts kindergarten, there is no yet anything wrong with Usnavi.  
This is about to change. 

2) He’s six and than seven and then eight, and his problems does not go away.  
He manages to remember from which side of the paper he is supposed to start writing, but the other stuff still escapes him. Words seems to twist and warp both on the page and in his ears, coming out unrecognizable, missing parts or with twice as many letters. Usnavi blames it on the stupid rules of English and actually refuses to speak it for a couple of days. His teachers blame it on his constant daydreaming. His parents believe he’s smart and they try to help him, they sit with him over his homework and watch him as he writes, fingers cramping on the pencil, and they smile at every word he gets right. But there is not that much time, with the bodega and with the bills to pay and the dozens of other problems they have.  
He’s pretty good at math, and that averages out all the troubles with writing, is’t it?

3) High school is hell.  
He's definitely not the only one to think so, with the hormones and weird thoughts, loves and heart breaks, with everything going so fast and feeling stuck in a place at the same time. With stress and fear and problems they cannot fix. But Usnavi's brain decided that it's not enough and just short-circuited.  
Usnavi tries, but nothing seems to help. The more he concentrates, the more he loses sleep over books and grades, the worse the words skip around the page, warped beyond recognition. Test after test after test comes back full of red marks. Even math is hard when it takes him ten minutes just to read the instructions.  
He's too old for his mistakes to be cute, too old for growing out of it. There's nothing to average it against it. He's just stupid, plain and simple.  
He counts days until he will be old enough to get out of school. 

4) Winter came and went. Blurred and hazy, safe from that one moment.  
Well, now there's no one to made me go to school, a weird little voice in his head pipes up, and his stomach turns. He spends the rest of the day in a shirt borrowed from Benny. It's too long, sleeves hanging well past the tips of his fingers, making him feel like a child playing pretend.  
He should be reading all the forms and documents they gave him, but the letters jump in front of his eyes worse than usual, so he just signs it all mechanically and hopes that no one is so cruel to try and scam him at his own parents' funeral. 

5) After a while, it almost stopped hurting. He emerged from that strange fog that have filled his head for the last year, and the world started to look almost normal. He works and talks and cooks his meals and actually showers without having to be reminded. He feels better. He smiles.  
The bodega is his life now, and for the first time in ever, he doesn't feel like he is helplessly lagging behind everyone. It doesn't matter that his writing is wobbly and full of mistakes, it doesn't matter it takes him so long to read the newspaper. It doesn't matter he's stupid. He keeps the store clean and well stocked, remembers what coffee people like and the lyrics for all of his favorite songs, and always returns the right change.  
That's enough for him, and it has to be enough for everyone else.  
Go to Nina if you want smart. 

6) She catches him struggling with the tax return form. That’s not that weird - she doesn’t know anyone who would understand all those numbers and exceptions and rules - but Usnavi breezes through them only to get stuck filling in the address and his own name, letters shaky and etched deep into the paper. There are several papers crumpled in the bin, clearly the unsuccessful previous attempts.  
He notices her staring and instinctively curls one arm around the paper to hide it before catching himself.  
“Hi, Nina,” he smiles, but his voice shakes a little. Please don’t laugh, he doesn’t say out loud. I know I’m dumb, he doesn’t say out loud. Just pretend you didn’t noticed.  
So she rambles about everything that comes to her mind, smiles at Usnavi’s jokes and buys tons of things she doesn’t even need, just so he can forget about the piece of paper on the counter. And he gladly plays along.

\+ 1) In the next semester, Nina takes up special education. The things she learns are so familiar it is hard not to hear them in Usnavi’s voice.


End file.
